Relationships the key to our world

How Does NLP & Hypnotherapy Help in our Relationship?

When we look at relationships , we see where two finite “beings” existed before moving into relationship together, totally whole and unique unto themselves. From here, however, they form something quite different.

The space where they overlap is the space of union and is the space of their creativity. Essentially something new comes from this place which never existed before these two came into relationship. This is true for all relationships. None are exclusive to this principal. When you feel your partner pulling away, it’s because you are taking up too much of the sacred space and overlapping their space to closely. The automatic knee-jerk reaction is to PULL BACK, so you can breathe again! Whew! What goes on in the relationship SPACE is up to the two that join. As the circles come together initially there is attraction, and then the initial touch, and then the Collapsing of outer boundaries as they merge into this union. In the early stages of relationship this can feel like it’s overbalanced, too much has been given over by the two parties. As they come into balance, they acutally form new boundaries within the relationship, so the relationship occupies some of their world but NOT ALL OF IT. The new boundaries within the relationship also, SERVE BOTH, you can see each is still full, whole and itself, although sharing some of themselves with the other.

Boundary - A line marking the limits of a spatial unit, having the power to include or exclude. While the terms ‘border’ and ‘boundary’ are used as synonyms in current English, that a boundary necessarily demands a perception of some cultural, political or social feature that signifies difference, and distinguishes one spatial area from another.

Boundaries:

In order not to loose ourselves in a relationship we must know our boundaries, who we are, what we want, what the core values are, what the core beliefs are. Somethings will be more important to one than another. Somethings will be negotiable, some not.

When we know who we are, then we are in a much better place to negotiate our own needs, desires and wants, and respect what is being asked of our partner, knowing our needs will be respected in the same way.

Like HONESTY...

Being honest. Telling the truth. Some people like to create distractions so they don’t have to tell their truth, instead they create a distraction that everyone focus’s on while they get their way in the end. Some would call that manipulation.

Manipulation is not a negtive word at all. It simply means to move with direction. Nothing wrong there, except in how we use these kinds of words, and especially if they get used in connection with simply “getting our way” at the expense of others.

After a while, relationships with these kinds of communication skills begin to diminish, because neither party to the relationship can actually tell what the other is doing, and they never know what is real. The only safe way to be in a relationship like this is to withdraw your boundaries back further and further, until sometimes you have left the relationship altogether.

You know when that happens – because that’s when you no longer feel anything at all that the other person is doing. No reaction.

Honesty Uncovered

If a person comes to a relationship and they have never felt safe in one before, never felt they could speak their truth, maybe no one listened, maybe no one ever actually heard their truth, in order to get around in life, they find ways to “creatively” get people to do what they want, rather than ask for what they want… Sometimes it’s really hard for people that have done this for a very long time, to believe it’s ok to start asking.

Trust:

The truth is, not everyone is here on the planet to give us what we want in the moment. Truth is, other people often have the focus on other things, that are more imporant to them, so they don’t really focus too much on what we want, until they are asked , and then once they are asked, it’s a free world out here, and it’s ok to say no. Learning to trust ourselves, is learning to know that in any situation we can choose what we want, and offer others an option, if they decline, then that’s ok, we can say what we want in the moment and continue on, but allowing them the same options.

Fairness

This is why it’s important to figure out what’s important to you, so you can both be fair, and also realize that sometimes some things are more important to you than others, and this is where you can be "flexible".

Flexibility avoids stiff necks and sore lower back issues. Truly!

Using Hypnotherapy & NLP we help you put this all together and surprisingly easy steps take you to a new place in your relationship!